This weekend, I have the distinct honor of attending a wedding. Not just any wedding, but the wedding of a young man. Not just any young man, but one I have known since the day he was born.
I have watched him grow from a big headed baby who got stuck in the spindles of my parents stairs while I was babysitting him to a Master’s-degree-holding, full-time-job-having, starting-a-new-life-with-his-beautiful-girl grown man. It is weird to say the least.
In my mind, the memories that first come to mind when I think of him are our sneaky Pete trips to McDonald’s for a happy meal when he should have been at school simply because I was home on a break from college. Or him running around the backyard with my babies toddling after him because they followed where ever “The Beast” would go.
He is not that much older than my own kids, but he was a toddler in a lifetime before I had my own children, my own adult responsibilities, and before my illness took away my ability to be the FAUNT (the fun aunt in case you were wondering).
And if he is old enough to get married and start a family, then my children are not far behind. That, and the looming start of my daughter’s senior year, leave an ache in my heart that can only be the start of it trying to prepare for the breaking that comes when they leave the nest.
How do you prepare for that?
How do you get ready for the kids in your life to be adults when you look at them and all you can see is the freckled face kid who you called Dorkfish and made up an entire song as a tribute?
If you know, message me... because I have not figured it out yet.
What I have figured out is that his momma (& his dad) love him more than their own life. What I have figured out is that my love for him and for his soon-to-be wife isn’t far behind that. My love for all of my kids (even the ones who, like him, I didn’t birth) is so great that it causes a lump in my throat because the words trying to describe it get all mangled up there and won’t make their way out.
But what is even more awe inspiring is that this love that overwhelms me so is NOTHING compared to the love that God has for us.
Now how do I wrap my brain around THAT?
How do you share with a newlywed... that your spouse will never be perfect? You will let each other down. That we are not supposed to have a love that is so in sync that we forget our need for God and His Perfect Love.
A love that is unfailing.
A love that doesn’t disappoint the way that your spouse might when she forgets to defrost something for dinner on a Tuesday night or say something she wishes she could take back because she was tired, stressed, and she heard the word “mom” for the 9,752nd time that day and she just snapped (not that I have done both of those things... this week).
But that it is part of what makes love and marriage so amazing- the way we are united in our untidy messes and clinging to a cross like a life preserver. Because their WILL be stormy seas, brother, and you will need to stay afloat. You have an amazing example of in sickness and in health, in good times and bad- generations worth in your family. You have an amazing example of a love that cannot be matched in the way God loves you. You know what else, you have grown in to a pretty amazing guy who is marrying a pretty amazing girl and I have no doubt that you are in it for the long haul. Just remember we are not perfect. We are not meant to be, but God is and He will carry you through both the good times and the bad and man, are you two going to have an amazing life together. I cannot wait to see how it all works out.
Congratulations DJ & Sarah.
Love, Your Favorite Dorkfish
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Hi. I'm Jen-
a small town, Oklahoma girl married to a superhero. Together, we are raising a family on second chances, shiplap, and a shoestring.
I am a firm believer in grace, organization, and efficiency. I find great satisfaction in taking broken items and giving them new life, likely because that is exactly what God did for me.
I over use the word shine, exclamation points, and emojis. I cheer too loud in the stands of my kids’ activities and hug more than is socially acceptable. A natural born encourager and armchair warrior, I am learning to redefine my mission field and make the most of each day I am given.
I am chronically ill and chronically positive- not necessarily in that order. I am learning to practice perseverance over perfection and long for the day I get to see my grandparents and Jesus’ face.
Until then, I am just looking for Grace in the Grind.